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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

A journey

Sometimes I feel guilty because I am fat. Don't crucify me for using the F-word. I am exceedingly obese, and I will admit that. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels guilty, but because of my faith I feel like I should somehow be able to overcome this more easily. But if being healthy was easy, everyone would do it, right?

I truly believe that gluttony is a sin. Overindulgence in any area of your life shows a lack of control and order, and that is not Christ-like.

But recently a friend of mine reached the point of -100 pounds. Her maxim is this, "This is a journey." She says it all the time.

This is a journey. Many people, including many Christians, think that believers should be perfect. Newsflash, NO ONE IS PERFECT! Like the journey back to physical health, the journey to spiritual health is life long and the two go hand in hand for me. When I am feeling down on myself because of all my imperfections, I think back over the last 10 years. Through God's help I have learned to control many of my shortcomings. (I do not say overcome, because you never really overcome your vices, you learn methods and steps to control them) Addiction to pornography, a tendency to lie about EVERYTHING, explosive anger issues...all these are mountains that I have climbed with God's help.

Losing weight is another mountain. It is by far the biggest. Giving up pornography and learning to be honest were easy compared to this. And because it is my greatest struggle, it makes sense that it will take the longest to learn to control.

This is just my journey, and I'm still walking it. I don't have to be perfect, just keep on getting better.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Goals Evaluation

I've learned in the past that setting goals is a great incentive and a good way to stay focused. However, we should not get hung up on those goals, nor should we freak out when we fail to reach them. That leads to discouragement and usually cheating. That being said, I want to evaluate how I did on my goals, but please understand that if I fail to reach one, I'm not going to get hung up on it. I will simply strive to do better the next week. That is the road to success, and I wanna take it!

Short term goals: between now and the end of January

Work out 3x's a week: Did okay. I worked out 2 times because the holiday got busy. Really want to reach that 3 times mark this week

Stop snacking every evening: Again, did okay. I did snack last night, which I am kicking myself for. But mostly I stayed away from the snacks in the evening, especially Thursday before the weigh in. I think that's why it was such a good one.

NO fast food or soda: This was good! I stopped at chick fil A one evening to pick up some chicken fingers, but I didn't order a meal, and all I got to drink was unsweet tea! It was actually pretty good! I only allowed myself to do this because I did not have enough calories that day, and I was feeling faint. It's important not to eat to little, or your body will not burn what it should. I had no soda this week :-)

Go to bed at 10 and get up at 6 am for devotions: not so great. I hate going to bed early. I've been tossing and turning and having a hard time falling asleep. The baby still gets up once or twice a night, and Baby Doll (2 year old girl) usually wakes up once or twice and walks around the house. So, I haven't been getting up at 6. But I have still managed to have my devotions in the morning :-) That is the most important thing.

Weigh in: GREAT! I weighed in on time, and lost 3 pounds!

Call a friend: Nope. But I did discuss weight loss with a couple people.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Friday Weigh in

I am so excited right now. Didn't really expect to lose much this week because of all the holiday eating, but I only splurged on Christmas Eve and Christmas (okay okay, a little splurging on Thursday too). But I DID lose! And what's even better, I lost more than I planned!

I thought I would only lose 2 pounds or less, but I lost 3! Woohoo! Let's call this a good week. Now that Christmas is over I am back to no sugar. It's going to be hard because we still have a bunch of junk left over, even though I tried to give away as much as I could. But this loss is really encouraging.

Friday, December 20, 2013

A "new" addition

Okay, okay. So our "new" addition is almost 6 months old. I am a horrible blogger, but that doesn't really matter anymore. In fact, blogging and being read by the masses doesn't really seem to matter much anymore. I miss writing for fun, and that's what I want to do more of.

We actually have two new additions to our family. The first arrived back in June. My adorable Little Man. He is my last baby (well, last planned baby :-P ).  He's been having some trouble gaining weight, and I have to admit....I'm jealous!!!!! We had to start feeding that little bottomless pit all day every day and night to get him to gain weight! The doctor said he probably has a very high metabolism.

Go figure.

Our second new addition arrived in July. She is a 14 year old gal that goes to our church and needed a place to live. She has been such a blessing and we love her to death. So we went right from being a family of 5 to a family of 6! I'll admit, I was a little unsure at first. I mean, I wasn't planning on dealing with dress codes, curfew, dating, and teenage sized attitudes for another 9 years! It took some time, but we are settling in. Having 4 kids is exhausting, but so much fun.

While my Little Man is struggling to get enough calories to put on a few pounds, Mommy is packing them on like a newborn calf! Because he was not thriving on mother's milk he is on formula w/cereal and solid foods. Not nursing has forced my calorie burn down, and I've gained a lot of weight all of a sudden.

Do you know that feeling you get when you realize you have gained weight,  but you don't want to admit to yourself that you are backsliding. I weighed myself 3 times before I finally realized that I can't live off my past success. I have to start from scratch. That took me a while to sink in. I need to start from scratch. Reevaluate, write new goals, make a new plan. Up til now I have kind of been depending on that old resolve to kick in at some point, but I know that isn't going to happen. Just because I lost 40 pounds 3 years ago, doesn't mean I'm going to automatically pick it back up now. This has to be a new starting point. A new start weight. A new resolve.

So that's where I am. And this is my little man now. Hopefully as he grows big and strong, Mommy will shrink small and strong!

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